Can You Afford to Keep the House After a Gray Divorce?

For many people going through a gray divorce, the family home is more than a financial asset. It may be the place where you raised your children, celebrated holidays, built friendships with neighbors, and created decades of memories.

So when divorce raises the question of what happens to the house, the first reaction may be: I want to keep it.

I understand that. I’ve navigated gray divorce myself, and I know that decisions about the family home can be both financial and deeply personal.

But before deciding to stay, there’s an important question to answer:

Can you comfortably afford this house on your own—not just today, but five or ten years from now?

Start With the Real Cost of Staying

If your Sacramento home has been owned for many years, particularly if the mortgage is paid off or relatively small, keeping it can look like the obvious choice.

But the mortgage is only one part of the cost of homeownership.

Property taxes, homeowners insurance, utilities, landscaping, maintenance and repairs all continue. Older Sacramento homes can also bring significant expenses for roofs, HVAC systems, plumbing, electrical work, foundations and other major systems.

A house that worked comfortably on two incomes may feel very different on one.

Consider What You May Be Giving Up

There is another cost that is easy to overlook: the equity tied up in the house.

In neighborhoods such as East Sacramento and Land Park, longtime homeowners may be sitting on substantial equity. Keeping the house may mean leaving a large portion of your net worth concentrated in one asset.

Selling could potentially free up money for retirement, investments, travel, a smaller home or simply a larger financial cushion.

That doesn't mean selling is necessarily the better decision. It means the equity in the house deserves to be considered alongside the emotional reasons for keeping it.

Think About the House You'll Need Later

At 60 or 65, stairs, a large yard or an older house requiring regular maintenance may not seem particularly burdensome.

But what about at 75 or 80?

One of the most useful questions during a gray divorce is not simply:

“Can I stay here?”

It is:

“Does this house still fit the life I'm building?”

Location matters, too. You may want to be closer to children or grandchildren, friends, activities, healthcare, travel or the parts of Sacramento where you actually spend your time.

Don't Make a Permanent Decision During a Temporary Crisis

Divorce creates pressure to make a lot of decisions at once. The house doesn't have to become another emotional referendum on the marriage.

Keeping it isn't automatically a victory. Selling it isn't automatically a loss.

The goal is to make a decision that leaves you with a home—and a financial life—that works for the person you are becoming.

Before You Decide

Before deciding whether to keep or sell a home during a gray divorce, it can be helpful to talk with your financial advisor, CPA and family-law attorney about the financial and tax implications.

And a knowledgeable Sacramento real estate agent can help you understand another important piece of the equation: what the home is actually worth in today's market and what your realistic housing alternatives would be if you sold.

Sometimes the numbers confirm that staying makes sense.

Sometimes they open up possibilities you hadn't considered.

Either way, good information makes a difficult decision easier.